Article #3: Politics, Relationships

To Her Dear, Former Love:

I am saddened by what you have become over this past 30 years. You have fallen so far from Grace that I know not if it is possible for you to ever reach her again. What, you don’t understand? Really? I find that hard to believe. Have you lied to her for so long that you are now even lying to yourself…and actually believing it?

Have you gotten so far off of your game to where you can no longer get the girl honestly? You have to try and trick her into liking you? Do you think that, just because her name is America, the beautiful, she does not have brains as well?

Is it that you know that she overwhelmingly does NOT agree with you or your policies, but you, in your ever-attacking-women mind, think “no” means “yes”?

What is it that you don’t get?

You talk about how she just doesn’t understand how your ideas are so great for her. What, is she not smart enough to know something great when she hears it? NEWSFLASH: She is wise enough to know what’s great, what’s not great, and exactly which of those she wants. So, since that is the case, tell us:

Why are you gerrymandering districts to make you have permanent majorities in her legislative positions, even when you lose the majority of her votes? Why are you attempting to change how her electoral college works so that, even when you lose, you still get the majority of her electoral votes?

Listen, I know you think you love her, but you only love the idea of her. And, unfortunately for you, you can’t force her to love you, no matter how much you want her to. You can’t force her to swallow insane policies either, no matter how much you try to tell her they tastes like strawberries.

What I’m trying to tell you is that you and America just can’t be together any longer because, well, simply put, she’s beautiful…and you…you have now gone beyond ugly.

Signed,

America’s New Democratic Boo